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Spam subject: "The best way to prove your virility is getting a Submariner SS watch" Really? I can think of some MUCH more effective methods
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Spam subject: "Mr. [name removed], your discount code is inside. television four" - Great, so I have to open it up and void the warranty?
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Spam subject: "Upgrade your stamina and abilities in general." Say goodbye to "leveling up" the old-fashioned way!
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Spam subject: "do not mock at your pootency" - O_o - No, I think that's exactly what they'll be mocking you for.
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Spam subject: "Please erase me" - if by "erase" you mean "delete" and "me" you mean the message, I'll be happy to oblige.
Spam subject: "Grow your own delicious, giant blueberries" - How big are we talking? Cherry? Tomato? Beach ball?...Violet?
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Spam subject: "For lush love effects" - Get our exclusive collection of all 12 songs and 7 special effects used in any porno, EVER!
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Spam subject: "We make sure our customers are happy enjoying their fashion accessories"...or ELSE!
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Spam subject: "At this she began to cry." Quote: "Nobody cares about our opinion" Great, now I'm all depressed.
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Spam subject: "Compelling force will try to tear your zipper every time you'll be with a girl." That'll cause a few awkward moments.
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Spam subject: "She will stare at you" - Well, as long as it's not in the same way that she'd stare at a train wreck...
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Spam subject: "Are You Ready for Halloween? It's Just a Few Months Away." - in August. Reminds me of this Sarah's Scribbles comic: https://sarahcandersen.com/post/149748085471
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Spam quote: "This weekly bulletin is dedicated to the...ur long-term relationship, have a link." - Are you sure?
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Spam subject: "With our watches precious minutes will go slower." So it's a selling point that they don't keep time correctly?
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Pair of spam subjects: "let's do it" and "Let this electric mop do the work for you" - I think that's a different kind of work than the mop was designed for.
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Spam subject: "Grow Giant Snake in Pants" Someone didn't read the Evil Overlord List. Turning into a giant snake never helps.
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Spam quote: "so many lessons to be learned, this is an easy one, and its free!" I'm sure you'll learn something if you respond.
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Spam subject: "How can you be so cruel to me? I'll have to react and destroy you." It was in the discards folder, so I have no idea what was in the message (probably a dubious pill or "enhancement" sales pitch - these things always seem to be), but it sure makes you want to look, doesn't it?
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Spam subject: "do not mock at your pootency" - O_o - No, I think that's exactly what they'll be mocking you for.
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Spam subject: "Info Regarding Your SSN" - Really? The first digit is somewhere between 0 and 9?!? WOW!
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Spam subject: "Your new incredible style will make everyone crazy." - Maybe you shouldn't have bought from the C. Thulhu Collection.
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Spam subject: "'Stop Your Dog's Annoying' Barking" - Really. Who names their dog, "Stop Your Dog's Annoying?"
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Spam subject: "It has never been easier to pick up women." Yeah, that anti-gravity device is a big help!
Spam subject: "Info Regarding Your SSN" - Really? The first digit is somewhere between 0 and 9?!? WOW!
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Spam subject: "Share the microscopic world with your child" - It took a while, but Hank finally let Hope use the suit!
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Spam subject: "Get Local Customers for Pennies on the Dollar" - Buying customers? Is that...legal?
Spam quote: "Give your girl extra heat take "V'gra" before you jump to bed with her." Wasn't that in the first Star Trek Movie?
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Found in a blog spam folder: "I tried to publish a comment earlier, however it has not shown up. I believe your spam filter may be broken?" - The commenter's name? "{K|J|P}{a|e}{n|m}{e|a|i}" No, I think the spam filter is working just fine.
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Spam subject: "Can We Send You Some Customers?" Depends: are you planning to send them by FedEx or UPS? Will I have to sign for delivery?
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I once got a run of blogspam pretending to be a friendly note about site compatibility: "When I look at your blog in Ie, it looks fine but when opening in Internet Explorer, it has some overlapping." - Yeah, it works in IE, but not Internet Explorer...which actually kind of makes sense...
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Spam subject: "Make your wife happier today." Take out the trash and offer to do the dishes?
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Spam subject: "The best way to prove your virility is getting a Submariner SS watch" Really? I can think of some MUCH more effective methods
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Spam subject: "Find your confidence today" - I know I left it around here somewhere. Didn't I?
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Spam subject: "Your wife need your attention? Solve all the problems with IT." So, if you call tech support instead of fixing your computer yourself, you'll have more time for your wife. Alternate punchline: Thank you for calling Wife Support. To improve your relationship, hang up and talk to her!