Spam subject:

FBI OFFICE GET BACK TO US IMMEDIATELY IF YOU DONT WANT US TO ARREST YOU

Somehow I don’t think the FBI would be emailing me from an AOL.com address.

Spam subject:

“She will be amazed by your new power”

But that’s still not a good reason to hang around radioactive spiders, gamma bomb test sites, or stand by the window of the chem lab during a lightning storm.

Spam subject:

Ready to lose some weights?

Just bring your own weights to the gym and leave them lying around. You’ll be sure to lose some in no time!

Absorb potency for longer nailing

Huh. Most people go to the hardware store for that.

Spam subject:

“Give her the best action every night”

…with a subscription to Spike TV!

Spam subject:

Your Degree shipped by PONY

I suppose that’s cool in a historical sense, but aren’t there faster methods available these days?

Spam subject:

“Make your bone-on sustainable”

As long as it’s a 100% organic experience…

Spam subject:

“Your order N42273 for helicopter for the weekend”

Considering it’s on a UPS phish, I have to ask: How are they planning to ship the helicopter?

Spam subject:

SORRY FOR INFRINGING ON YOUR PRIVACY!!!!

Spam subject: “Boob job gone way wrong…to your bed” from “Unexpected Result”